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Parenting our way: Your child’s connections to their mind and emotions

This resource is part of Parenting our way, a collection of resources created with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander parents, families and workers to support children’s social and emotional wellbeing.

 

The term ‘mental health’ is a way of describing how we are thinking (our minds) and feeling (our emotions), which affects what we do in our lives. Everyone has mental health, including children and babies.

For children, having good mental health doesn’t mean they are happy all the time. It means they feel all the different emotions, and they have relationships and skills to help them deal with the ups and downs of life. Family and community are important parts of supporting children’s mental health and their social and emotional wellbeing.

But sometimes a child’s connection to their mind and emotions is ‘just OK’, or they could be struggling to cope. They might need some extra nurturing, or more connection with people who care about them, to help them to get back to managing and feeling good most of the time.

 

Helping your child feel safe and understood

Just like adults, it’s normal for children to have tough days. They might feel angry, sad, worried or frustrated, and that’s OK. But children may not always have the words or know how to say what they’re feeling.

Instead, they might show big feelings by doing things like crying, yelling or hitting. This doesn’t mean they’re bad. It usually means they’re feeling something big inside and don’t know how to deal with it.

In this video (2 minutes, 4 seconds), Angela talks about the importance of co-regulation (managing your emotions and helping your child to manage theirs), patience and being present with your child, even during stressful moments.

These are some things that parents can do to support children through tough days or stressful moments:

  • Be calm: Young children often need a calm adult to help them regulate big emotions. Over time, this builds their ability to do it themselves.
  • Listen without judging: Let them know it’s OK to feel things.
  • Notice what a child’s behaviour tells you about their feelings: Instead of reacting to the behaviour, ask yourself: ‘What is my child trying to tell me?’
  • Name children’s emotions to help their understanding: Supporting children to name their feelings helps them to understand and manage their emotions in future.
  • Take care of yourself too: You’re doing something amazing, and it’s OK to not get it right all the time.

When children feel safe, heard and supported, they:

  • learn better
  • build stronger relationships
  • grow up being able to better manage the ups and downs of life.

In the next video (1 minute, 14 seconds), Harley describes his parenting strategies, moments of frustration and how he tries to stay on track.

As Harley describes, being a parent isn’t always easy. It’s normal to feel frustrated sometimes. What matters is taking a breath, resetting and trying again.

Staying calm and focused helps you keep being the parent you want to be, even on tough days.

 

What’s next? Explore other Parenting our way resources:

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