Transcript for
Building a positive partnership with your child’s educator

Narrator (00:02): 

Welcome to the Emerging Minds Families podcast. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (00:05): 

Hi, I’m Nadia Rossi, and you’re listening to an Emerging Minds Families podcast. Before we start today’s episode, we would like to pay respect to the traditional custodians of the land on which this podcast is recorded, the Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains. We also pay respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, their ancestors, and elders past, present, and emerging from the different First Nations across Australia. 

(00:34): 

Today, we are talking with educator Sara Holman about building positive partnerships between parents and educators to support children’s mental health, wellbeing, and learning. We look at how parents and educators can work together to create the best possible outcomes for children and why respectful two-way relationships can make things easier, especially when you and your family are experiencing difficult times. Welcome, Sara. It is great to speak with you today. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (01:00): 

Thank you for having me. It’s a pleasure to be here. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (01:02): 

Sara, at Emerging Minds Families, we acknowledge that families come in many forms. So I was wondering if we started today’s conversation by you telling us a bit about who makes up your family. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (01:13): 

Sure. At the moment, and I say at the moment, because we have many partners coming along into our family life at the moment, but I have a husband and three teenage children. One is about to not be a teenage child in a week. So that’s who I call my immediate family, but then I’m also very lucky to have lots of extended family who are very local to us and very part of our family. So yeah. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (01:35): 

How amazing to be able to bring those people in and have that, what we always refer to as the village, really feel like it is there for you. Yeah. We had a chat the other day with my friends. I think it was Halloween and we were just walking back from trick or treating and people were carrying each other’s kids and our bags. And one kid was in a pram and one kid was on top of them. And my friend just turned to me and she goes, “We are the village.” And I was like, “Yeah, we are.” We’ve got a crew and we can start leaning on each other and having those really safe adults around our kids. And it’s wonderful. 

(02:05): 

So we’re going to talk today about building partnerships between parents and their child’s educator. And, Sara, I wanted to ask, along with parents, educators play such an important role in supporting our children’s learning. And often we think of reading and writing and maths and science, but I wanted to start by asking you to talk a bit about how teachers can also support the social and emotional wellbeing of students on the day-to-day basis. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (02:31): 

Teachers really do support that all day, every day where there’s lots of little moments where we’re constantly helping children navigate through. It could be how to self-regulate or it could be negotiating little social situations or conflict resolutions. There’s lots of minute by minute opportunities that we have to help children grow with their social learning and their wellbeing. And certainly supporting that is a really big part of our job because if the child’s not happy and their wellbeing’s not great, then they’re not going to learn at school. So it is a really important part of our job, just helping children with their emotional language and really helping them grow and learn through that, not just from the young age, but kids that we do work with, but the older kids is the same. If you’re teaching the high school kids, you’re negotiating all of that at a different level, but it is still a constant. You don’t necessarily think it is. But when you look back at what you do in a day, I would say 80% of it is dealing with social and emotional issues in schools. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (03:28): 

And like you said, it is a constant, and not only … I think a lot of the focus is on the younger children and when they’re starting school, but it is throughout their whole learning experience that you have those relationships and partnerships with your child’s educator and the educators with the child. And those educators change over time, but it’s that child growing in that school environment and you’re going to see them at different ages and stages in their life. And I wanted to ask about when a family is going through difficult times, would you say it’s important that parents let the educators know so they can better support the child during their school day? 

Sara Holman (Guest) (04:05): 

Oh, absolutely. And the more knowledge we have around the child’s holistic life, the better we can do our job. It is certainly important when they get lots of issues with kids when they’re little. And it could be little things like they don’t sleep properly or they’re having nightmare issues or lots of kids in particular, the younger ages are learning to manage their self-regulation and anxious thoughts. So parents might be dealing with that at home that we don’t see at school that causes kids not to sleep, then they’re tired. 

(04:33): 

And so certainly if something big is happening in a child’s life, for us to know how that’s going to affect the child’s wellbeing at school, certainly really important and very helpful for us to do the job. And particularly, I think as they’re getting older, things are becoming more real to kids. We don’t necessarily think they are. We don’t validate kids’ feelings enough. And when they are becoming teenagers and in that high level of schooling, what can actually cause them concern? We really do need to validate. So if parents are seeing something or something has happened outside of school, if we can know about it’s certainly going to help us with our job, definitely. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (05:09): 

That’s such an important reminder as well to validate young people and their feelings and what they’re going through because their world is their world. We can see a bigger world. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (05:18): 

It’s their world. And if it’s causing them concern, then we have to acknowledge that. And we might not think it’s a big deal, but it is to them in that moment. So it definitely needs to be shared between the parent and the teacher if it can be. And that way we’ve got 24 hours worth of care that are looking after. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (05:35): 

Really wrapping around them. For a parent, it can feel daunting to approach a teacher sometimes or an educator about their child and is this actually something I should bring to them or you don’t want to not waste their time, but teachers are so busy. And so when it does feel daunting to reach out to your child’s educator, what suggestions would you offer to parents who might be unsure on how to start that conversation? 

Sara Holman (Guest) (06:00): 

I always encourage parents, and it’s easier in the primary school years because parents are in the school more often than they are. But I would always encourage parents to make a connection at the beginning of a year. That’s always your easiest point to connect because teachers are usually doing some sort of parent information night, or there’s usually some form of opportunity, a little bit harder in the higher years. But if you can make a connection initially, that’s going to be helpful if there is a problem. But if you haven’t, I would say probably sending the teacher an email because there is that and it’s not face-to-face. It’s less intrusive to both. 

(06:34): 

And it might just be, “Hey, look, I just want to let you know this is the issue. Do you think we should have a meeting or can I give you some more information over a phone call?” And just touch base that way, just a small message. It doesn’t have to be a page long detailed message about what is actually happening, just the initial touching base of, “Hey, I think we need to have a chat. I want to let you know some things about my child.” But it can be, but as teachers, that’s what we expect parents to do, essentially. If there’s something going on at home, tell us. So we are waiting for those emails. So it’s not out of the blue if something comes to us. That is how we hope to communicate with parents. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (07:09): 

That’s such a wonderful tip to give parents and carers listening that at the beginning of the year, everyone’s capacity is a bit bigger and you’re starting a new year and you’re ready for new experiences and entering that new school year. So that is such a great, I think, thing to keep in mind, I will keep in mind for my children and their teachers to make that touch point at the beginning of the year. And so you have that relationship, whether it’s in person or via email, whatever you feel most comfortable with, but it’s just laying a foundation and opening that door, right? 

Sara Holman (Guest) (07:39): 

Yeah. And I mean, I know I’ve got three teenagers that secondary school, you are so much more hands off. So it is harder. But even just, like I said, usually there is some parent information nights that happen at the beginning of the year, or sometimes it could be a case of my kids catch a bus down from the hills to the city and the bus is always late, always late. And the kids are always a bit funny about it, even though it’s not their responsibility. So I’ll quite often at the beginning of the year, just touch base with their homeroom teacher, just say, “Kids are on the bus every day. It’s quite often late. Just letting you know they do feel a little bit stressed when they walk in the classroom late.” 

(08:12): 

That is nothing that the teacher needs to do. That is nothing anybody needs to fix, but it’s a heads-up to the teacher, but also straightaway at the beginning of the year, they’ve had an email from that parent and there’s already a connection there. And then if something bigger was happening, I know I’ve made that contact once. I have their email address. That’s the other thing. Get the teachers details that it’s always put out there. It’s not a secret that teachers have an email, get their contact details. And again, know that teachers expect parents to email them. So it’s not something they shouldn’t do. It’s actually part of helping us do our job as best we can. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (08:48): 

It’s so great to hear because I feel like sometimes you take your own experiences of school. And I definitely have that of going to a school where the teacher environment was different. And so you get a bit scared when you’re approaching a teacher, even though I’m 42 and some of the teachers are younger than me, but you bring those past experiences with you. And so it’s really refreshing to hear you say that it is expected that you have that contact with the teachers and that they welcome it almost. I wanted to ask, with people bringing, you have those kind of experiences from their own school days and interactions from teachers, how can these past experiences influence how parents communicate with their educators? How have you seen that and what can they do? 

Sara Holman (Guest) (09:31): 

It is certainly something that living in a multicultural society, we see people come from all different walks of life, different countries, different schooling, different expectations of schooling. It certainly does play a part in how parents are in a school and how they feel comfortable in a school. It’s not necessarily a case of, “I had a really bad time at school, so therefore I don’t like it.” It could be that they come from a country where parents didn’t have contact with teachers or you didn’t speak to a teacher. Like you said, you might feel a little bit … I mean, even I’m a teacher and I’m like, “Got to email a high school teacher,” but you do have that past history of how schooling was for you. 

(10:08): 

It could also be that your parents didn’t have a great experience as a parent schooling, so then you as a parent don’t think that maybe it’s going to be any different for you. But I think the biggest thing I guess we want to put out there is we are a team, but that is the best way for it to work. If we are a team and we are working together, then we’re going to hopefully have the best outcomes for the child. So I guess just saying we are just another human being that is there because we want to be part of children’s worlds and helping them grow and learn. So just see us as part of your village, part of your team. But it is tricky because everyone does come from a different background and we live in Adelaide. What’s the first question you ask somebody when you live in Adelaide? 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (10:53): 

What school did you go to? 

Sara Holman (Guest) (10:54): 

So it really does play a big role in our life, our schooling experience, which is why we want to make sure that our child’s schooling experience is as positive as it can be. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (11:05): 

And I love that you said that you’re a team and to try and reframe your own past experiences with school with just understanding that you’re a team with your child educator and they are, like you said, part of that village. So it’s such a great thing for parents to remember and take forward with them. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (11:23): 

And know that genuinely that the best way forward is if we work together, definitely. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (11:27): 

If parents are coming to you with a concern, what advice would you have for them is the best way to prepare for a conversation with an educator? So how can they prepare for that conversation? 

Sara Holman (Guest) (11:38): 

So they’re actually coming in and sitting down and having a meeting. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (11:40): 

Yeah, you’ve made that meeting. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (11:42): 

I think probably the biggest piece of advice I would give after many years of having meetings is come prepared even with an agenda if you have to. I know as a school, we’ve actually started doing that ourselves. And when we have a parent meeting, you usually have initial contact either from yourself wanting to touch base with a parent or a parent actually wanting the meeting. And we will now sort of sit down and nut out a few dot points for an agenda and say, “This is what we’re going to chat about in the meeting.” They can come prepared with that themselves because emotions get high in those meetings and it can be hard to actually get your point across as a parent, even as a teacher. 

(12:16): 

And I say this from a teacher’s point of view, it is sometimes you lose track of why you’re actually there in the meeting because of the emotional level that’s happening in the meeting. And as a teacher, I’m always wanting to let the parent know that we may not understand specifically what they’re going through, but we know they’re going through something and we’re validating their reason for being there in the meeting. But to have that comeback of an agenda, doesn’t have to be a formal … It can just be written down in a notebook somewhere that you take it in because you as a parent are calling that meeting because you want to talk about a couple of things and even having a couple of suggestions of outcomes of what is it that you’re thinking could happen here? 

(12:51): 

Or is it a case of, “I don’t know what to do with my child, please help me.” That kind of thing, come up with some suggestions on where we’re at. But certainly coming into a meeting knowing that we’re there to support them and that they do have some ideas of what they want to talk about, because it can be tricky sometimes when a parent comes in, they just are wanting to vent and not at you. There’s not necessarily any blame there. They’re just wanting to vent at the situation, but there’s no outcome there because what do we want to achieve from this meeting? So certainly being mindful of what they’re wanting to achieve from the meeting is helpful. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (13:24): 

Absolutely. So having some talking points and then an outcome or some objectives that you might want to have come out of that meeting. So helpful. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (13:31): 

Because the other problem with meetings is they can blow out in time. And I’m a talker, so I’m shocking for that as well. It’s not just a parent, it’s me too. But we can have a meeting that really should only take half an hour and I’m there for an hour and nothing’s been achieved because we’ve just talked at, which is great. And sometimes a parent just needs to talk through suggestions and what they’re going through, but just being able to reign it in a little bit is helpful. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (13:55): 

Also, not rush through it either because you can have that worry that your time is precious. They’ve taken time out of work, maybe come and see you. And so you might try and rush through it and miss some really … you leave that meeting going, “Oh, I forgot to talk about this, or we really needed to talk about this.” And then getting another meeting is harder and you’ve got to wait longer. So yeah, I think that’s just- 

Sara Holman (Guest) (14:14): 

But on that, you could have another meeting. You don’t have to solve it all in one meeting. It could be, “I’m here to raise all these issues, but let’s start a process.” 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (14:23): 

Because it is a relationship and it is a partnership and you are a team like you mentioned and it’s, yeah, timing. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (14:29): 

And the minimum time you’re probably going to have with that teacher is a year, but it could be more. So you could have a two-year cycle with a teacher. So it can be a process. It doesn’t have to be all resolved in one meeting. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (14:38): 

And I think your child is maybe different even in a school setting. So you would have insights into the child in a learning setting and a parent has their own insights to what the child is like in their home setting. So bringing that all together, you’re really getting the whole picture of a child or having an opportunity to get the whole picture of a child. I’m wondering what are those valuable insights that parents can bring to a teacher about their child? 

Sara Holman (Guest) (15:01): 

Well, on that note that you were talking about with the way children are, schools are very, generally speaking, a very safe environment for a child because it’s very routine based, very familiar, the same faces, particularly if it’s a smaller school. Even high school, the kids are older so they can manage more rooms, more teachers, but it’s still routine based. It’s still familiar. It is still the same friends that they see at school, the same people they see at school. So it’s very easy for children to feel that they can keep it together at school because this is how we act. This is how I act with this person. And it’s constant, very the same. Five days a week, eight hours a day. Then they get home and they’re in an environment where it may not be as tightly together as school is because school is, we are counting minutes at school. 

(15:48): 

How many minutes till recess? How many minutes till this lesson? It’s very, I wouldn’t say regimented, but for a child to then go home and be, “Okay, now you’ve got free time.” Some children can’t manage that. They need the structure. So that’s where parents will start to see different behaviours or the anxiety coming out that they’re holding together at school. We do call it masking with some neurodiverse children, but just in general, kids can just be holding it together at school when they get home. So parents then see behaviours that we wouldn’t see at school. And sometimes you’re like, “Really? They do that? No.” You are quite surprised sometimes. And that is very helpful because every now and again, something will happen at school and you’ll see something. 

(16:28): 

And if you know already that that is a way a child copes at home or that’s a behaviour they’re showing at home, then it’s not so out of the blue. But it can also be really useful to go, “Oh, okay, I’ve just seen that at school. Mum told me about that a month ago that she’s seeing that at home.” Now I’m going to go back to mum and dad and say, “Hey, look, this has just happened. This is her response. It’s happening at school now. So is this a bigger picture? Do we need to have a chat about it? Do we need to look at supports that need to come in or get to the bottom of something?” So it’s very helpful to what’s happening at home and behaviours they have at home. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (17:03): 

Yeah, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (17:04): 

And what they like and what they don’t like, because that plays into how they are at school, how they’re engaged in their schoolwork. If they’re very anti something, then maybe I won’t use that or I’ll be aware of that. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (17:18): 

Yeah, having an awareness. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (17:19): 

And you know what? They’re not going to be able to engage in this because they have a bit of an issue with this. So those little things are very insightful for us and do help us differentiate the day for them a little bit. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (17:30): 

How does knowing that and having the whole picture of the child help support their learning? Like you mentioned, it can help you not tailor the whole class or the whole year around a child, but it gives the teacher an awareness. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (17:42): 

And it could be something as simple as a child not sleeping at night. So we know that they’re going to be a little bit more tender at school. We might have a couple of days worth of extra fitness that’s thrown in or extra sporting events that they are just not going to be able to cope with that level of exertion. So we might pull them back a little bit from that. They might require a few more breaks in our wellbeing room that day. Or they might be a child that never has used the wellbeing room for anything in particular and all of a sudden they’re going through this, something’s happening at home or they’re literally just not sleeping and they need some time out. So they’ll go spend 10, 15 minutes just to have a break in the wellbeing room. It’s not about differentiating the whole learning plan, but it could be something as simple as that, which does help that child. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (18:25): 

I love that you mentioned a wellbeing room and some parents may not even know that that’s available. And so through a conversation, they now know that that is there and their child can access that. So it’s that working together. And my next question I was going to ask is how parents and teachers can work together for the best outcomes of their children, and I think that’s along the lines of what that is. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (18:45): 

Yeah, definitely. And look, not all schools have the luxury of being able to have that space and someone who’s dedicated to that space, but all teachers will have a strategy for that. It could be that there’s a calming tent in the corner. It’s a primary school. It could be a teacher might say, “Right, you need to go for a walk around the oval.” All teachers will have strategies for that. So when parents come on board and they are telling us things are happening, it could be a medical situation, it could be an emotional situation. We will then have the ability to work with the parent to say, “Hey, look, we’ve got this resource at school, or we’ve got these people that come in, would you like to see them for a little bit?” 

(19:18): 

The schools are full of resources and you’re not going to know all of those resources unless you are asking questions or in a situation where someone can say, “Hey, look, we’ve got this, would you like to try?” And resources for parents for themselves as well. So there are ways that we can support parents who are … It’s not just about supporting the child. We would love to try our best to help the entire family. And sometimes that is about acknowledging that this parent is grieving at the moment because there could be a diagnosis that’s happened that they’re managing themselves to come to terms with. Perhaps it could be that they have lost a parent. So we can help support the parent as well. So definitely coming to school and working with us, it’s not just about helping the child. Obviously that’s a number one focus, but there is a wider community that we want to help support there as well. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (20:04): 

Yeah. And that’s how, as a parent, engaging with your child’s educator can help support the child’s mental health and wellbeing, but also that of the whole family. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (20:12): 

Yeah. It may just be the simple relief of knowing, right now I can’t deal with such and such that’s happening at home, but I know my child is safe with the teacher because I have respect and trust for that teacher because that’s the really big thing, that relationship that’s built on that respect and trust once it’s started. And once you’ve got that, it can very well be a case of they’re at school, they’re good. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (20:32): 

Yeah. And they have that with- 

Sara Holman (Guest) (20:33): 

I can go deal with this now or I can go and not think about how they’re going at school because that teacher is looking after my child. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (20:40): 

Yes. And if there is a difficulty or like an upheaval at home and things are not routine, at least that child has those expectations of a school day and has that safety of their educator or even high school when you’re having different educators for different subjects, they’re still in that routine. And so as a parent, it is a relief. I can feel that of going there with someone. And even if it’s not specifically the educator, there’s a wellbeing coordinator or resources or there’s something in the school if you started that. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (21:08): 

There’s always someone in a school with a counsellor or chaplain or someone that’s always there that’s available for that. But even in a high school when you’ve got multiple teachers and staff that are working, if something’s going on and it needs more support, it’ll go out to all of those supports that are around that student. So it’s not like, “Well, the homeroom teacher knows and that’s it.” If it’s needed, we’ll let everyone know that they’re coming to maths today and they’re not going to be good. So just be gentle. Sometimes that’s all they need. 

(21:36): 

So definitely communication is the key to creating the team. And it might not be that you’re meeting … don’t meet with your teacher once a week. If you’re meeting with your teacher once a week, then we need to go to a bigger level. But it doesn’t need to be that involved. It is just knowing, “Hey, this has just happened. I’m letting you know and I feel comfortable letting you know because we’ve worked together on other things or we’ve touched base before.” So once you’ve established that initial contact, that’s your team coming together and then it just works from there and builds from there. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (22:05): 

On the topic of communication, feel like we all know that teachers are more contactable than they ever have been. And there’s absolute positives to that like we’ve previously discussed. Got emails, you’ve got apps, can call the school, all these kind of avenues for a parent to contact a teacher and educator, I believe there is a right balance to find there. And so how can parents find the right balance when reaching out to ensure that communication is effective and not overwhelming? 

Sara Holman (Guest) (22:32): 

It’s definitely a concern with overwhelm with teachers. We are available 24/7, but how we respond to that is probably the message we need parents to understand. And when I say we’re available 24/7, they can email us in the middle of the night. I get emails all the time from parents at midnight because they’ve either got no time during the day or something has happened or their child is refusing to sleep and they’ve got all these anxious thoughts that’s happening and then the parents need to let that out in an email. And that is fine, but it’s the expectation of how teachers respond to that causes the imbalance, I guess. I would say if you are emailing a teacher several paragraphs more than once a week, you need to go in and have a meeting. There is something bigger there that’s happening. 

(23:13): 

And whether or not that is a case of you needing as a parent more support or you thinking there’s something happening here, I don’t know what it is. And then the teacher being able to say, “Do you know what? We see this at school too, so let’s actually go and look at maybe getting a diagnosis. Let’s look at observing them for longer.” Or that then helps the parent relieve some stress and worry because somebody else is coming on board. But it is a very fine line. We at our school have a 48-hour policy to responding to emails and that’s not uncommon. That is quite common around most schools. Whether or not parents realise that, because we do have to remind parents. As a general rule, teachers will read emails, most of their emails, but getting back to them is the problem. So I will quite often come in and have a number of emails in the morning and I teach little kids. 

(23:56): 

So parents are more on what their kids are doing versus the older kids. One of them could be they didn’t sleep last night, so they’re really, really tired. There could be they didn’t want to get on the bus this morning, but they’re on the bus, but they were crying when they got on the bus. Most of those parents are just letting me know there is no expectation to reply to those emails. That’s great. That’s all we need, just a heads-up, this is happening, and then I can keep an eye on them at school and make sure when they come in, they’re okay. The bigger emails with the more complex issues they need time to respond to. And like I said, if it’s becoming a case of multiple emails in a week and the email’s more than a paragraph, then you probably should be booking a meeting and sitting down and having a chat with the teacher as well. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (24:35): 

And I think that’s such an important point to make as well because even in life when you’re messaging friends and family and you’re going back and forth over a text message and there’s maybe a bigger thing to discuss, it’s so much better to talk in person. The tone you can read much easier, you can get a lot more done in a face-to-face conversation, even a phone call if you can’t. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (24:56): 

I was going to say, you can ring and teachers call you back. So there is times we call back. We do really abide by the right to disconnect law that’s coming in or has come in. And teachers are terrible for responding at 10 o’clock at night as well. So we are our worst enemy because we’ll flick one out at nine o’clock at night when we’re working and then the parent kind of thinks, “Oh, they’re at work. They’re on their computer. I’ll just go back and forth.” And then by midnight, my husband is saying, “What are you doing?” 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (25:21): 

Yes, yes, yes. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (25:22): 

So we are our own worst enemy in that, but there are a lot of schools bringing in a very hard line on we don’t connect after five o’clock, 48 hour rule on replying to emails. The apps can be a bit of a problem because they kind of slide in on the side as well. And then you get multiple forms of communication from parents. So all amazing that we can contact teachers so easily, and the plus outweighs the negative on that one, but there is very much a fine line. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (25:49): 

And I think setting clear boundaries or expectations around communication is also really helpful for parents. As a parent listening to you say that, I’m like, “Yes, absolutely. There’s expectations. We’re busy.” Like you mentioned, I have emailed my child’s teacher at nine o’clock and gone, “I have no expectation here to respond to this, but I’ve worked full time and it’s nine o’clock, the kids are asleep and I’ve just remembered that I need to let you know this, but you don’t need to respond right now.” Parents, you do get that pocket of time where you’re like, “Oh gosh, I’ve got to do all my life admin.” 

Sara Holman (Guest) (26:19): 

Yes. And that’s exactly how I work. I might be sitting in front of Netflix, but I’m on my computer. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (26:23): 

Yeah, exactly. And teachers are parents too as well. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (26:26): 

Yes. Oh, absolutely. No, and I think the biggest thing for us at our school has been scheduling, sending emails. So we may be writing all emails at nine o’clock at night, but to be able to send them at an appropriate hour where parents can go, “Oh, I’ll reply right now.” Then we are abiding by that rule for ourselves as well that, and it does happen, if I send an email to a parent when I have time at nine o’clock at night, am I happy with them instantly replying to me because that happens a lot too and because then I feel compelled to write back. Then you’re caught and it’s no one’s fault, but that’s just what happens. So that scheduling for the next morning, I’ve written the email, it’s gone out in time, but it’s not happening at nighttime. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (27:10): 

That’s a great tip for educators. I think that’s really scheduling the- 

Sara Holman (Guest) (27:14): 

Scheduling. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (27:14): 

Yes. Good. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (27:14): 

And parents- 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (27:17): 

And parents can do that too. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (27:18): 

… schedule it or read it before you send it again the next morning. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (27:20): 

Exactly. Yeah, give it the night, especially if there’s something going on. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (27:25): 

I would actually like that. Sometimes we get emails that we know very well are written in the moment, very emotional and it’s like, “Whoa.” Maybe just draught it and then reread it in the morning and just see is it, we call it catastrophe hour when you wake up at two o’clock in the morning worrying about things. Same thing when it’s happening when these kids are coming home and they’re at you and they’re telling you how bad their day was and you have been working all day and you haven’t got time, it’s dinnertime, you can’t do it. 

(27:52): 

So then it gets to bedtime and then it all comes out. The first thing you want to do is let someone know about it, but does it need to be written in the heat of the moment? Just take a step back and have a look because sometimes, and that’s probably, I know this is about parents communicating, but sometimes when we are communicating, we are communicating emotionally and it’s coming across a bit harsh, which doesn’t help because we want to keep that comradery together that we’re here to help you. Just let me know, just tell me what’s going on. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (28:22): 

And I think parents and educators, everyone just wants the best for the child. And so it’s always coming from a place of love and care, but when you are in that heightened time, having that chat with yourself that I’m going to write this, but I’ll maybe look at it in the morning and just taking some time for everyone on either side it’s helpful. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (28:39): 

Absolutely. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (28:40): 

And that’s in the work environment, that’s in your personal life. Yeah, so important to keep in mind. Sara, thank you so much for talking with us today. I always like to end our conversations with asking if there is one thing that you would love our audience to take from this conversation, what would it be? 

Sara Holman (Guest) (28:59): 

We’re a team, thousand percent over. See your child’s educator as another part of your team because we are with your child so much and we know your child so well. You wouldn’t believe the stuff we know about you actually. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (29:11): 

Think about that. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (29:14): 

The little kids are great. No, but we’re part of your world. And like I said, we could be part of your world for a number of years with your child. So see us as a tool to help you do your best job as a parent and also be your support because there is a lot going on out in the world and there is a lot for parents to be dealing with. And we could be talking about parents who have three, four, five kids. Use your teacher. That’s what we’re there for. Let us help you. And that makes our job so much easier. So yeah, we’re a team and see it like that. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (29:44): 

That’s a wonderful message to leave on. Thank you so much for joining us, Sara. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (29:49): 

Thank you for having me. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (29:49): 

Thanks. 

Sara Holman (Guest) (29:49): 

It’s been great. 

Narrator (29:51): 

Visit our website at www.emergingminds.com.au/families for a wide range of free information and resources to help support child and family mental health. Emerging Minds leads the National Workforce Centre for Child Mental Health. The centre is funded by the Australian Government Department of Health under the National Support for Child and Youth Mental Health Program.