In this episode, psychologist and author Alan Jenkins describes his practice theory for working with fathers who use violence, coercion or threats towards partners and children. Alan’s two books, Invitations to responsibility (1990) and Becoming ethical: Parallel political journeys with men who have abused (2009) are seminal texts for practitioners in behaviour change programs.
Alan’s books describe his approach to individual and group therapy with men who are hurting those they care about. He believes that when men hurt others, they are acting in accordance with the violence that is condoned at societal, institutional and political levels, rather than in contradiction to it. Accordingly, Alan is interested in the ethical intentions of safety and respect of individual men or fathers, rather than working from a position of judgement or condemnation.
In conversation with Dan Moss, Alan describes a case study of work with Tom, a father who had been violent towards his son. He describes the man’s shame in recognising the effects of his behaviour on his son. Alan describes this case study as a parallel political journey of practitioners and the fathers who they meet with. A parallel journey invites practitioners to attune to fathers’ effective experience in forming connection and to co-regulation. In this way, practitioners can avoid practices that are dogmatic or confrontational. Invitational practice refuses judgement through a passionate interest in otherness and views this interest as the antithesis of violence or coercion.
In this episode, you will learn about:
- a case example of Alan’s work with a father who had used violence towards his partner and son [1:49]
- an example of a father’s shame after noticing the effects of violence on his son [4:04]
- repositioning shame as an ethical marker of a father’s journey in being able to ‘see’ his son [6:57]
- the development of Alan’s invitational practice and the political theories that have contributed [15:34]
- the parallel political journeys of practitioners and the fathers who come to meet with them and the practices that support engagement and connection [19:02]
- considering a passionate interest in otherness as the antithesis of violence in ways that refuses practitioner judgment [24:33]
Related Emerging Minds resources
Invitational and ethical practice with fathers who use violence (part one)
Online family and domestic violence courses for practitioners
Domestic violence and children: Conversation guide