Why siblings fight and when to step in

Sibling rivalry can be challenging to navigate and it’s something many parents have to manage at one time or another. In this episode, host Alicia Ranford welcomes back parent educator and mum of four, Gen Muir, to unpack why sibling rivalry can feel so intense  and what’s really going on beneath the surface when children argue. 

Gen distinguishes between the everyday arguments  siblings have that are developmentally normal, and ‘rivalry’ that feels targeted and repetitive, and which may require more support. Gen explains that sibling disagreements can be valuable opportunities for children to develop negotiation skills, as well as frustration tolerance and resilience, while also providing parents with moments to foster meaningful connections with their children and between siblings. 

In this episode, listen as: 

•  Gen discusses the difference between everyday sibling arguments and genuine sibling rivalry  [00:2:51].
•  Gen explains the effect dysregulation plays in sibling relationships and how parents can support their children when they become dysregulated [00:007:00].  
•  Gen shares that  sometimes social cues can be the problem, particularly for boys, and how parents can support them [00:20:38].
•  Gen and Alicia explore the skills children are actually learning when they do argue [00:24:22].
•  Gen offers suggestions on how parents can respond when children are fighting if they aren’t sure what to do [30:00].  

Further information and resources: 
Parent–child relationship: How positive connections support children’s wellbeing 

Connection and belonging 

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