Transcript for
Focus on the positive future – episode seven
Narrator [00:00:02] Welcome to the Emerging Minds podcast.
Drew Radford [00:00:07] This podcast is part of a series called Supporting Children Through Drought.
G’day, I’m Drew Radford. In this episode, we focus on a positive future for you, your children and your community. It’s important to remind yourself and your children that this drought will pass. Trying to do fun activities together or even making a list of things you’re all looking forward to will help in keeping a more positive future in focus. To explore this in detail, we’ll speak with mental health professionals and importantly, parents from remote locations about how they keep a positive future focus for their children. One of whom is Amy, who’s from a station north west of Roxby Downs. She spoke to me about how focussing on a positive future is not always the easiest thing to do.
Amy [00:01:04] We tried to keep it open-mind, we keep telling the kids that it will rain eventually. It has to, it’s just a matter of when. We were lucky enough that we’re in the right spot to get some after the start of this year. But yeah, it’s, it’s a hard one because all we can see is dust’s, the trees are only what’s around the house, you look out and its flat open plains. Yeah. It’s hard to get them excited. For my daughter its hard. She’s rather be home with me so that we sort of try and do more activities around the house and cooking and things like that that she enjoys and her drama. So but yeah, my son always wants to go out and help my husband on the farm and he’s got goals of being a farm manager one day. So we’ll see. See how that pans out.
Drew Radford [00:01:51] Thanks, Amy. Like so many who’ve been doing it tough, despite having a bit of rain recently, painting a picture of optimism is not always easy. To discuss some strategies, I’m joined in the Emerging Mind studio by psychologist Dr Andrea Baldwin. Andrea, for infants and young children, what are some ways a parent or child caregiver can foster a positive future outlook with this age group?
Dr Andrea Baldwin [00:02:19] Drew, it was lovely to hear about Amy’s son and his goals for the future. But of course, babies and little children are not very future-focussed. They’ve got so much going on in the here and now. I’ve mentioned before their brains are making over a million new connexions every second. They’re using every sight and sound and texture and experience that happens. So it’s really hard for them to imagine tomorrow, let alone something like a time in the future when it might rain again. So it’s really quite important to focus on the positives of right now in the moment. So things to enjoy, things to be grateful for, like a yummy meal, fun game, a beautiful feather. The nice thing that Mrs So-and-so said, talking about the future, you can certainly encourage them to look forward to something exciting that’s going to happen soon, like a trip to town on the weekend, a visit to grandma next month or Christmas. You can make a list with them of the fun things that are coming up. We can put it up on the wall, put pictures. You can have a calendar. We’re crossing off the days until something happens. So that’s a fun thing to do together. It’s really important for them and for you to have things to look forward to do. Do be prepared though, for little ones not understanding the timescale. They might ask you every morning if it’s happening today. It’s a bit like, are we there yet? Just help them enjoy the planning, the packing, they getting ready, they’re talking about what’s going to happen. And when that event has happened, try to have something else positive on the horizon. So they’re a little pleasurable experiences that can help bridge the time gap between the big ones.
Drew Radford [00:03:48] Dr Andrea Baldwin, some great suggestions in there. And thank you for your insights and time in joining me in the Emerging Mind studio.
[00:03:59] [MUSIC]
Drew Radford [00:04:00] Drought is one of the many cycles of life, and this is a notion that Jane, who is from a station on Eastern Eyre Peninsula, tries to instil in her children.
Jane [00:04:09] Well, there’s the old one day closer to rain scenario, which we’ll probably say too much. But my kids are the age where they’ve seen like the dry times and then the good times and then the dry times again. So they realise it’s a cyclic thing. So it’s not, oh, this is how it is forever. And it’s doom and gloom. They realise there will be peaks and troughs. And so I suppose when we’re talking about drought, we try and liken it to other things in life that you might experience. And that probably puts it a bit more in perspective for them so that they’re not just focussing ‘oh its drought, and this is how it is and that’s bad, and we’re the only ones going through it’. I’d often try and give them other examples of life where you know you could call it a drought or whatever’s, whatever’s going on in a different aspect of life with similar peaks and troughs and such. So yeah, just try and give a wider perspective.
[00:05:04] Thanks, Jane, for those great reflections on drought and maintaining a positive outlook. To discuss this further, I’m joined in the Emerging Mind studio by psychologist John Dean. John, drought is one of the many cycles in life, but it can still be hard to be positive.
John Dean [00:05:22] Well, it’s important to maintain hope, I think Drew. And that idea that every day is a day closer to when it rains is true, but difficult to live through. And I think that idea that things are cyclical in nature is useful. And I think the climate is a really good example of that. And we have the seasons and they’re not a bad way to take notice of what’s happening, that the seasons come and go and there are changes even if it’s just in the temperature. And each season really has its opportunities and it has its challenges. You know, we lead into one season where we’re thinking about sowing crops that may or may not happen. That has challenges, and then we have seasons where the growing might occur and there might be challenges around that and so forth. So any positive change is worth celebrating, I believe. And it’s important to mark those occasions and celebrate them, even if handling disappointments down the line can be difficult. And talking about that is important. But we also need to share, I suppose, with our children and young people according to their age. Which is difficult for parents, which comes back to the need for parents to get the support they need to be able to support their kids. We need to be realistic about things, I believe, without sharing things that are inappropriate. And I’ll priest that I knew when I was younger and on the farm used to say when he was asked about praying for rain, it’s no good praying for rain and the winds in the sail. So I think we really need to be truthful with our kids and not give them false hope, but point out that things do change. It’s part of life.
Drew Radford [00:07:17] John, you raise a really important point about being truthful with children. It’s something that Belinda, who’s from a property in the Flinders Ranges, also spoke to me about.
Belinda [00:07:27] You know, we just try to make sure that we treat them in the way that they want us to treat them. If we want them to be respectful of us and they want us to respect their decisions they make. I think it has come the other way. I think we have to make sure that we’re making decisions and and we’re speaking to them in a respectful way so that they know that you know, we understand how they feel. Try not to be too negative. I suppose that’s a very difficult one. But I think and I guess in terms of the drought and educating the kids away and the costs, etc., I think it’s just important that they know that while it is a financial burden, it is also, we’re investing in not only their education, but in them and giving them the tools. Every year technology gets better and the droughts where we’ve been handled differently this year than even it was back in the mid 2000s and and then back in the 80s. So I suppose we’re giving them new tools, tools that we didn’t have when we were young to be able to deal with it. That’s what I try and remind them, that it’s lost, it’s financially. And it’s it’s important that their education, regardless what they do, whether they become mechanics, doctors, lawyers, pastoralists, that we value that over everything.
Drew Radford [00:08:44] I think that’s a wonderful perspective. And thanks for that, Belinda. John, I was really taken by Belinda’s approach of instilling in her children that their education was about equipping them to deal with the future in the best possible.
John Dean [00:08:58] Why, yes, it’s a nice view of it that Belinda gives, because one thing that the young people discussed at the summit was feeling very responsible for gaining or achieving, being away at school because of the sacrifices that they knew that their parents were making. So they did feel a lot of responsibility. But I think it’s a good point about respecting your children’s opinions and experiences and demonstrating that respect so that then you’re more likely to get that respect back from your children, that sort of modelling. I think this is a great approach. But it can be really difficult to hear some of those things from your kids, especially when they trigger reactions in us because of our experiences. But children can really express themselves in very different ways. They don’t always have to do that by talking to you. They could be, and I think it’s really useful to encourage them to look at expressing themselves through other ways, like art or music, or craft, or photography, film, lots of different ways. I came into contact with a young person not far from here who had been keeping basically a diary of the drought through photography and had her own Facebook page displaying photos of the drought, which become quite important to a lot of young people. So there are lots of ways that children, young people, can express their opinions and experiences at these times and we should encourage them, engage with them around their interests. As I said before, taking an interest in what they are interested in really has an impact on their self-esteem. And also, again, around that difference with age. So as kids get older, it’s harder to maintain that strict sort of parenting approach. And kids all rebel if we try and restrict them the way we might have done when they were much younger. It’s a young person’s job to sort of make mistakes and learn from them so they’ll get their decision making wrong at times. So our role really is just to be there and be able to say, well, that didn’t work. Well, you know, what can you do next time?
Drew Radford [00:11:29] John, thank you for your time and your insights on how to go about fostering a positive future focus.
John Dean [00:11:35] Thank you, Drew. Difficult time when times are difficult. But I think it’s really important.
Narrator [00:11:47] If this podcast brings up any difficult emotions for you, please reach out to someone you can talk to or call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or the Beyondblue support service on 1300 22 4636 at any time.
Drew Radford [00:12:06] Thank you for joining us for our Supporting Children Through Drought podcast series, this podcast series has been made possible by funding from country South Australia Primary Health Network, ending collaboration with parents from Isolated Children’s Parents Association SA Branch, Remote Isolated Children’s Exercise, Queensland Centre for Perinatal and Infant Mental Health in Children’s Health, Queensland Hospital and Health Service and School Link and Got It Programmes and New South Wales Health Murrumbidgee Local Health District.
Narrator [00:12:46] Brought to you by the National Workforce Centre for Child Mental Health, led by Emerging Minds. The National Workforce Centre for Child Mental Health is funded by the Australian Government Department of Health under the National Support for Child and Youth Mental Health Programme. Visit our website at www.emergingminds.com.au.