Transcript for
How a neighbourhood coffee house brought a community together

Narrator (00:02): 

Welcome to the Emerging Minds Families podcast. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (00:05): 

Hi, I’m Nadia Rossi, and you’re listening to an Emerging Minds Families podcast. 

(00:10): 

What comes to mind when you think of your local café? Is it a place where you run to grab a coffee on the go, or is it somewhere to stop and visit for a while? For those who are feeling isolated, it might be a place to find company and a sense of community. This is absolutely the case for our guests today. The Pear Café is a local community cafe located in the suburb of Alberton in South Australia. It hosts regular community-driven events, conversations, workshops, and get-togethers that aim to connect people of all ages and generations. 

(00:40): 

Joining us today is Annemijn, Carol, and Leonie. Annemijn is the Neighbourhood Engagement Officer at the cafe, and Carol and Leonie are patrons of the cafe who have a wonderful story of finding true connection in an unexpected place. Thank you for joining us today, all of you. 

(00:58): 

Annemijn, I was wondering if you could start by telling us a bit about the cafe and how it came to be such a hub for the community. 

Annemijn (Guest) (01:06): 

Sure. Well, it all started in 2017 when the owners of a beautiful shopfront house in Alberton right near the train station realised that a neighbour had passed away in hospital and they didn’t find out for several weeks afterwards. And it was a bit of a realisation of how little contact there was on a regular basis between the neighbours, and they felt sad about that and felt like that was something that they would really like to change. And they’d had this front room that was overlooking the street under a veranda, and for years, they’d thought about wouldn’t it be nice if we did something that brought people together? And this sort of spurred them into action. 

(01:51): 

And so they hosted a couple of community meetings where they letterbox-dropped everyone and invited people to come along and talk about what that space could be. And I think initially Christie, who’s one of the owners, thought, “Oh, maybe a yoga studio would be nice right next door.” But when they brought people together, they all said they wanted coffee. It was pretty unanimous. And there wasn’t another coffee shop in Alberton. Definitely not anything in walking distance. 

(02:20): 

And so Joost and Christie embarked on a journey of opening a coffee shop, neither of them having had experience of opening a business like that. And from the get-go, their philosophy was built around the idea that a coffee shop needs to be a place where people can meet each other, and the coffee is the thing that gets people through the door, but what happens in there is an opportunity for people to connect with each other. And for that, we needed more than just coffee. 

(02:51): 

So they hired me and a team of really amazing hospitality rock stars who all lived in the area, and they also formed a relationship with an aged care organisation, ECH, who were really interested in the idea of creating opportunities for people to meet other people within their community, particularly within walking distance because we know that in order to enable particularly older people to age in their own homes, they need to feel a sense of connection to their local community, and to feel that, you need a place to meet that local community. 

(03:31): 

And so we partnered with them and started a series of activities and workshops and things that came out of conversations with people initially around what they were interested in. And that’s what we’ve been doing for five and a half years. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (03:47): 

And how do you decide the programs? Do people just approach you for the activities or do you put a call out? How do you program it? 

Annemijn (Guest) (03:56): 

Yeah. It’s a real combination of those things. So we occasionally put a call out and go, “Does anyone have anything they want to offer to the community? Do you have any skills or passions or particular interests or would you like to learn a particular thing?” But a lot of it is around or comes out of the relationships that we build with people and getting to know them, getting to know what they’re interested in, getting to know what their skills are, what resources they want to share with people, and really creating an environment where anyone who has an idea can come and talk to us about it. And we tend to say yes to everything and try and make it happen. And sometimes things fail and nobody shows up. And sometimes, like Carol’s, case it becomes a regular activity that people come to for years on end, so that’s- 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (04:48): 

Carol, what’s that regular activity? 

Carol (Guest) (04:49): 

I lead a Tai Chi group on a Friday morning, and normally I have about a dozen to 14 people come along. We do it under the veranda that’s just down from the cafe and everybody seems to enjoy it. Usually half of my groups stay back and have coffee afterwards and create that extra connection, not only with the common interest in Tai Chi, but just making friends. And it’s really rewarding for me to be able to share something I’m really passionate about. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (05:20): 

When I visited, and we were even talking, behind me, I could hear that staff interacting with people coming in. And it felt more than just your regular café. The conversations that I could hear between the staff and people ordering coffees, it felt like there was a purpose behind it or is that something that you keep in mind or is that a bit of an ethos that you have with your baristas and the people, it’s more than just making coffee? 

Annemijn (Guest) (05:45): 

Yeah, absolutely. The staff that we’ve hired over the years, we have a very small team, but we mainly have chosen people who don’t necessarily have hospitality experience, but who are good with people because what makes people come back is that relationship that you build, whether that is with us as baristas or community workers or other patrons. The design of the cafe is very deliberate as well. We have this long bench along the wall and the counter is opposite that. And so what that creates is a physical space in which the barista can be part of people’s conversations. Yeah, so we do that a lot and that’s part of getting to know people, it’s part of being a community, and it’s really wonderful. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (06:33): 

What role do you think community members play in the success of the cafe? 

Annemijn (Guest) (06:37): 

It’s absolutely crucial if people don’t participate or don’t contribute then there’s successful project. And people like Leonie and Carol, they make other people feel really welcome and engage in conversations with new people that come through the door and make people feel like they’ve come home. That’s a very special thing. And I think a lot of the people that come regularly to The Pear, either as an activity participant or as a regular customer, they feel that sense of responsibility to the community and to making people feel welcome, and regardless of how often you come or how old you are or what your background is. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (07:21): 

And Carol, can you tell us a bit about how you found The Pear Café and what keeps you coming back? 

Carol (Guest) (07:26): 

I heard about The Pear from a friend and then also read about it in the local paper. And my partner and I decided one day, “Oh, we’ll go around and try this new coffee place,” which we did. And I walked in and there was a knitting group happening and I was asked if I knitted. I said, “Oh, not for a long time.” And I was handed needles and wool, so that was the first regular activity I became involved in. 

(07:54): 

And then later that year in September was when my Tai Chi group started up. So we’d just go around there several times a week and have coffee and always find somebody new to chat to. Yesterday, I was chatting to a young couple and their little child and I told them the story about my relationship with Leonie and they were kind of blown away that this café has created that sort of thing. And yeah, just love the cafe, love what it’s brought to the community and to see people just relax and feel at home, as Annemijn said, it’s just like your second home. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (08:35): 

And do you feel that maybe people that may have felt isolated at home in the area or maybe not known how to make that connection, do you feel like you are seeing people coming to the café and then coming back? 

Carol (Guest) (08:48): 

Oh, for sure. Yes, you see familiar faces there all the time and you just get to chat to, well, anybody and everybody. My partner calls me “Have A Chat.” I just like people and like to feel that they’re happy and I like to feel happy. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (09:06): 

Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with that. We might talk about your relationship. So Leonie, how did you find the café? 

Leonie (Guest) (09:14): 

My little one spent four weeks in hospital when she was born. So when she was out in the world, we didn’t want to stay at home and keep her isolated I suppose. We went for a walk one day looking for this cafe that my partner had heard about, and I suppose from the first day going in, everyone was very interested in, “Oh, how did you find us? And who are you and where do you live and how old’s the little one and what’s her name?” And it was a real lovely welcome to this coffee shop. It wasn’t, “What’s your order? Oh, latte, here you go. Thanks.” So of course we wanted to go back. 

(09:46): 

And it was a few months after that that we met the new grandparents, Carol and Barry, and also a lot of mum friends, mum’s in the area that went during the day for coffee with their kids. It’s nice if you’re not part of a mother’s group, when the babies are first born, you create your own through the people that go through The Pear. Kids that might be a year or two younger than Amie, we’ve still connected with, and it’s brought a lot of friendships where you’re living close by. I suppose that’s the main part as well, where people are, and they’re near to your house. You’re not, “Come on, let’s get in the car. I’ve got a friend that’s 20 minutes away.” We’re all really local and it’s just a beautiful place to be, which wasn’t quite your question. I’ve gone off track. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (10:22): 

That’s fine. We want to hear all about it and how your time at The Pear Café started and then how it’s evolved into this amazing connection that both you and Carol have, so we can talk about that. When did you meet Carol and her partner, Barry? 

Leonie (Guest) (10:36): 

It’s a bit of a blur. It feels like she’s just sort of been part of our life since Amie was born. I don’t know whether Carol remembers better? 

Carol (Guest) (10:43): 

No. I know it was definitely before her first birthday. Early days. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (10:47): 

So you’re still kind of in that early-mother…? 

Leonie (Guest) (10:50): 

Yeah, before she was probably five months old, we met you, and through Carol being “Have A Chat,” she introduces herself and again, “How are you? Where do you live and what’s the baby’s name and how old is she?” And those sorts of questions just started the conversation and the friendship developed. 

(11:09): 

It’s been really nice. Now that my daughter’s five, she doesn’t need it so much, but when I used to go down there, even Annemijn was part of it. I just need a break. I’ve come for a coffee, but I also don’t want my kid with me right now. I just need a break. So both of them have taken turns in to spearing off down the street down to watch the trains coming or even around the corner to the butterfly garden. And just giving, not just me, I’m sure there are other mums as well that just have that five minutes, I can drink my coffee while it’s hot and there’s no one grabbing at me or needing my attention. And you can just have that adult grown-up time that you sometimes miss when you’ve got a little one. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (11:40): 

And knowing that the little one is safe and happy and being cared for and looked after because they’ve become used to this community that they’re now a part of. 

Leonie (Guest) (11:50): 

Yeah, and very happy to go off with Carol. There were definitely times when her motivation for coming with me was because Carol would be there, and so, “Carol will play with me,” or, “Carol will take me to the trains,” and it’s kind of a win-win. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (12:02): 

I’m wondering if we can talk about how the relationship has evolved over time for both of you and Amelie? 

Leonie (Guest) (12:07): 

Yeah. I think Amie’s been a real great introduction to people. I don’t know if that’s the right way to say it, but having a child is an excuse to have a chat with someone. Just go to the dog park and you can have a conversation. It’s an easy way to start those initial connections. And I think with Carol, it was, “Oh, well, I’ve got these really cool photos, so let me get your number and I can text them to you because I’ve got a nice photo of the two of you.” And so then she gets a photo at the train station and she can text back. 

(12:32): 

And so it’s a really easy way in, I suppose. Harder when you’re an adult of course to say, “Oh, can I get your number? Maybe we can catch up sometime,” but Amie’s been a massive heart of a lot of my friendships that have come from The Pear and it’s just she’s awesome. 

Carol (Guest) (12:45): 

She’s the best. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (12:47): 

And Carol, for you and Barry, how has this relationship evolved over time and what does the relationship with Amelie mean to you both? 

Carol (Guest) (12:54): 

It’s great. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (12:55): 

And Leonie as well because essentially, you have two new people in your life. 

Carol (Guest) (12:59): 

Exactly. Well, three with her partner. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (13:02): 

Oh, yes. Of course. Yes, of course. 

Carol Guest) (13:06): 

Yes. It’s just been we don’t have children of our own. I love children. Barry loves children. So to have Amie in our life, it’s sort of given us that extra special feeling about having this little person that obviously cares about us as much as we care about her. 

Leonie (Guest) (13:25): 

I’m not sure who maybe made the first step, but I’m sure when Amie was younger and I’d have to take her with me somewhere, one of us maybe initiated the, “Well, can I drop her at your house for a few hours while I go to West Lakes?” Or they offered and said, “Well, you can drop her with us.” And so it’s not just The Pear. It slowly becomes just a two-hour, “We can look after her at our place,” or, “we can take her to the playground and you can have a break,” or then it’s, “well, we’re having people at our house. Why don’t you come over?” And yeah, “Why don’t you pick her up from school?” And it’s a very natural development. 

Carol (Guest) (13:53): 

Yeah, it’s opened up for us a whole new world, I guess you’d say. It started… Well, Leonie’s father used to bring Amelie to The Pear every Wednesday and the first thing he did, I’d be there with the knitting group, he’d walk in the cafe and hand her over, and for the next hour, I had Amelie to amuse, take her up to the station and he could sit and have his coffee in peace. 

(14:22): 

So it’s a bit like that at The Pear. I mean, a lot of people like that break to have their coffee and there’s always someone that will take the child and I just loved Amelie, so it wasn’t hard for me to take her. It was always I really look forward to it, and unfortunately COVID stopped that, he no longer comes, but we still get to see Amelie a lot. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (14:46): 

And it’s really that building that village around you where you may not have such an obvious support system. It’s building those support systems and going out and making maybe that first step to somewhere like The Pear Café and just getting out of your home and meeting these people and you have built this connection where you have this little support system around you. 

Leonie (Guest) (15:09): 

And I think you might not even know that you need that, but then when you reflect and realise how many extra people you know in your life and that you can rely on, “Hey, can you pick up Amie from school?” Or, “Can I have an hour tomorrow that you’re just hanging out with her and I don’t have to?” It’s really great to realise how much support you have, but you never knew you needed that support. You never knew that it was even out there, but it’s been fantastic to have it. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (15:29): 

And Leonie, what do you think the connection with Carol and Barry has had for Amelie and her life? 

Leonie (Guest) (15:36): 

Barry is happy to get down on all fours and play the dog or the horse or… He’s very interactive. He’s the school student. So for her, she’s got someone that gives her that 100% attention. It’s about you. When we get home from school, well, I’ve got to unpack the lunchbox and I’ve got to clean up this and I’m making dinner and the phone’s ringing or something else is going on. So quite often, she’s 80% attention. But with Carol and Barry, it’s all about her and she just loves it. She’s more than happy to go to their house and get treated like the queen. 

Carol (Guest) (16:05): 

And we’re more than happy to have her. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (16:08): 

And if I think Amelie could say anything about her relationship with Carol and Barry, does she say anything? Does she verbalise anything to you with that? 

Leonie (Guest) (16:17): 

Yeah, she started writing. She’s at school now, reception, and a lot of her sentences will be around who she loves and who’s in her life. And Barry and Carol definitely get messages and notes written about them. At school, they had to put down their five… What were they? 

Carol (Guest) (16:32): 

Safety network? 

Leonie (Guest) (16:33): 

The safety networks. So on the finger, the five fingers of a hand, she wrote down, mum was one; gran, my mother; Nana, her other grandma; and then Carol and Barry filled up the hand, and that’s just really sweet to know that her safety network is all of the grandparents that she has and they don’t have to be biological. Definitely the adopted ones are on there too, just as special as the real ones. 

Carol (Guest) (16:57): 

Which is really special for us. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (16:59): 

Absolutely. To see that visually, that she’s able to communicate that and put you all together, it’s amazing. 

Carol (Guest) (17:06): 

Barry was blown away the other day when Leonie sent a photo of something that Amelie had done in homework, my special memory of an activity with the family, and her special memory was play dates with Barry. She’s pretty special in our lives. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (17:27): 

And what advice would you all have to someone maybe that is feeling isolated at home and maybe listening to your stories to today, what advice would you have to them to maybe they’re thinking they might want to reach out and get out, but how do they do that if they’re not used to it? 

Leonie (Guest) (17:44): 

I think being open to it. It’s very easy to sit in the corner of a coffee shop looking at your phone, head down, drink your coffee, and go. But I suppose The Pear doesn’t quite allow that, which helps. But if you’re at a shop that’s not quite The Pear, the openness to it, the awareness that there are people around that also might need a chat just as much as you do and put your phone away for a minute and just look around, see what else is happening, and be open to the possibilities. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (18:08): 

Annemijn? 

Annemijn (Guest) (18:09): 

Yeah, I totally agree with that. So just go and sit somewhere and look around you and see who else is looking around, and when you catch their eye, just say hello or start a conversation. There’s more people that are open to that than you think. That can be staff. Obviously in a really busy place, that’s hard. But go somewhere where it’s a bit quieter. You can sit and be open to having a conversation and take it from there. 

Carol (Guest) (18:36): 

I just think it would be wonderful if there were a lot more places like The Pear in other areas that the community would feel how we feel about The Pear. I mean, we go to other coffee shops, but you go there, you have your coffee and you might say hello, you might get to know the owners, but you don’t really have that same sense of feeling and warmth that you get when you walk in the door at The Pear. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (19:02): 

And I’m thinking about maybe the community events that you run. That might be a good way too, if you don’t want to maybe go straight into a cafe by yourself. You guys have… Can we talk more about the events that you run? 

Annemijn (Guest) (19:14): 

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So we have a regular activity program, so each month, we put a poster up and say, “This is what’s happening throughout the week.” All activities are free or sometimes a small donation towards materials, but it’s really low-threshold. You just come in and join pretty much. 

(19:33): 

But then we also do sort of two, three bigger community events throughout the year. Sometimes that involves closing the road and having people sell their secondhand stuff on the road. Sometimes it’s a street party with live music or a shared potluck dinner. And those are really great opportunities for people to experience the sense of community that comes with being a part of community events, but also getting to know more people. Because sometimes you walk into the cafe, you won’t see the same faces, but chances are when you come to a community event, you will see people that you have met in passing or that you’ve seen sit outside, have their coffee once a week. 

(20:15): 

Yeah. That’s a great way for people to clock who’s part of this community. And we always try to, in the way that we set those events up, we try to create opportunities for people to mingle and sit at each other’s tables and really sort of spontaneously connect with each other. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (20:32): 

If someone’s listening today and they’re wanting to get involved in the café, are there ways that people can, if they’ve got a program, like an activity they’d like to offer, or how do you suggest people make that connection with you? 

Annemijn (Guest) (20:47): 

Oh, please do. Just tell them to come in. Please come in, come and have a chat to us. Anyone who works in the cafe is part of what we do. So your barista will put you in touch with me or one of my colleagues. You can email us, you can go to our website. You can subscribe to our newsletter. Send us a message on Facebook or Instagram, give us a phone call. It really doesn’t matter how you reach out. We will sit down with you, have a coffee, and just chat about your idea, what it needs, what your expectations are, what you need from us, how we can promote or support your activity, and then we’ll make it happen. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (21:27): 

We’ll put all of those in the show notes, your Facebook and your website and email and people can contact you through that hopefully. You mentioned that the events were free and that’s something that is accessible to everyone. Are there any other programs or initiatives you have that help people that can access the cafe? 

Annemijn (Guest) (21:48): 

Yeah, so I think you’re talking about the pay-it-forward system. So one thing that we were very clear on from the beginning was that we don’t want to expect people to financially put themselves out in order to participate in the community-building that we’re doing, which means that we are very happy for someone to come in and not buy a coffee, come to an activity and not buy a coffee. It also means that we have a pay-it-forward system where people can get a coffee that someone else has already paid for, and that system has created an opportunity for people to contribute towards other people being included and participating, which is really lovely. 

(22:30): 

And it’s evolved over time. And during COVID, they became COVID coffees and we delivered coffees to people who were isolating and people could ring up or email us and go, “Oh, it’s day three and I haven’t had a coffee. Could I have one?” And then we’d get a neighbour to drop it off at their house. But yeah, if someone’s going through a hard time, everyone is there to support them in whatever way, whether that is with a free coffee or a cup of soup or a conversation. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (22:58): 

Sounds amazing. What advice would you have to other cafes if they are wanting to become more community-involved and follow The Pear Cafe’s ethos? What advice would you have? 

Annemijn (Guest) (23:10): 

It’s probably twofold. I think it’s important to note that we couldn’t do this kind of work without external funding. So we have external funding through the federal government from the Department of Social Services. We have a partnership agreement with ECH, and we also get project funding for specific projects through other organisations or other state government bodies. So that’s obviously something. You need to find money for it somewhere. 

(23:37): 

But in terms of what existing barista staff can do, I think that that feeling that you described about while we were having a conversation at the cafe, just our staff get to know the people that come in and they ask questions about who they are and where they live and what their connection to this area is. And they remember their coffee orders and they remember their names and their kids’ names or their dogs’ names. They know when people are new in the area. And that relationship-building is something that anyone can do, and you can do that from behind the coffee machine, but you have to be willing to maybe make someone else wait a minute longer because you’ve just asked someone a question about who they are, and that’s the commitment that you have to make as a cafe. 

Leonie (Guest) (24:22): 

From a mum point of view, The Pear’s always had a small area for the kids, whether it’s some blocks or some cars and there’s some books and some colouring things, and that’s really important. It’s nice to go somewhere and not think, “Oh, I’ve got to pack stuff to take and play with.” And it’s just been such an easy location that you can grab the snacks and go and know that everything is catered for. You can spend an hour there and she won’t be bored because there is a small area for stuff for the kids. 

(24:50): 

And I think it’s an important space if you are wanting to have families coming in and staying for a while, just a couple of books doesn’t take much. It’s not a huge area. It’s just enough to keep the kids engaged so that you can stay and you can connect. And you probably drink your coffee when it’s cold anyway because you’re a mum, but that’s okay. Maybe they can reheat it. I don’t know. Is there a microwave out the back? We’ll just stick it in the microwave forty seconds. 

Carol (Guest) (25:14): 

It’s not quite the same. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (25:16): 

I’m just wondering, to finish on, what keeps you coming back to The Pear Café? 

Carol (Guest) (25:20): 

For me, it’s the sense of community and we get to see people that we enjoy spending time with. I don’t see Leonie and Amelie so much at the cafe because of the commitments with work and school for them, but it’s brought that connection about, so I just like people. 

Leonie (Guest) (25:42): 

For us, it’s supporting that local initiative. We could go spend money at some other bigger organisation and it’s easy just to pick up and drive past, but it’s nice to support what they’re doing. And as little as we buy coffee these days because we are busy with school and work, if you had a choice, that’s where we’d go every time. That’s where we want to spend our $14 every time we go. 

Annemijn (Guest) (26:01): 

What keeps me coming back is the people. And for me, working in such an environment, there’s not a day that is the same. And I ride around the neighbourhood on my bike and I’ll see 10, 15 people that I know. A few years, ago I was literally closing up the cafe on Christmas Eve and rode home and just rode around the neighbourhood going, “Merry Christmas, everyone!” It feels like a village and I’m having a baby in a few months and I’m just so looking forward to spending time there as a community member that is not working there, and to get to experience that special feeling of handing over my baby when I need a break to people that I’ve come to love and feel very connected to. 

Nadia Rossi (Host) (26:50): 

Thank you so much for joining us. It’s been great to talk to you all today and you’ve really just created a space which feels like everyone is welcome and you’ve built these community connections that will last a lifetime it sounds like. 

Leonie (Guest) (27:05): 

Definitely. 

Carol (Guest) (27:06): 

Thank you. 

Annemijn (Guest) (27:06): 

Thanks for having us. 

Narrator (27:10): 

Visit our website at www.emergingminds.com.au/families for a wide range of free information and resources to help support child and family mental health. Emerging Minds leads the National Workforce Centre for Child Mental Health. The Centre is funded by the Australian Government Department of Health under the National Support for Child and Youth Mental Health Program.