Communication and meaning-making

Communication and meaning-making is an umbrella term for strategies that help children make sense of their experiences and process their feelings. Effective communication and supporting children with meaning-making can reduce their distress and prevent trauma and mental health difficulties.

It is common for parents to have doubts about discussing the child’s experience of a disaster after the event. Adults are often concerned about ‘re-traumatising’ the child or getting into emotional territory they may doubt they can handle in language appropriate to their child’s age. Memories can be painful for the adults, and many would prefer to try to leave the experience behind them and move on.

It is also common for adults to assume that children have not been as affected by the disaster. They may feel it is not necessary to talk with children about the disaster because they believe ‘she doesn’t understand what happened’, ‘he won’t remember it’ or ‘children are resilient’. Sometimes, once parents have recovered emotionally from the impacts of the disaster, they assume that their children will have too.

However, infants and young children usually absorb more than we realise, including snippets of adult conversations and media reports. Their receptive language develops more quickly than their expressive language, so they pick up words and phrases long before they can use them. Young children may be left with sensory memories and emotional impressions that distress them. Not being able to cognitively understand an event is not necessarily protective; it may be the opposite as humans have a need to make sense of events and put them into a narrative. Without adult support children may create a story in their own minds that is more frightening than what objectively happened.

Creating opportunities to communicate with children after a disaster and help them make sense of what has happened is important for their mental health and wellbeing. This process is likely to go on well beyond the disaster response period and can be revisited over a period of years, particularly at developmental milestones.

There is further information about how to support children to express and resolve feelings about their experiences in the Play and creative expression and Emotional regulation papers.

Why communication and making meaning are important

In the following video (4 minutes, 25 seconds) practitioners and parents with lived experience discuss the importance of communicating with children and helping them to make meaning of the event and its consequences after a disaster.

Disasters are examples of potentially traumatic events. In this paper, we use the term potentially traumatic event because people experience challenging events in different ways. One child may cope comfortably with an event that distresses another and traumatises a third child. Similarly, the same child may experience one disaster, such as a bushfire, and seem unaffected, and then experience another bushfire, and find the second event traumatic.

What works to help a child after a potentially traumatic event also varies across individual children. Some may want to talk or play about what has happened, while others may not feel the need to discuss or reflect on the event. Some children might naturally develop a coherent story that reflects their experience, thoughts and feelings, while others might cope well without speaking about what happened or playing out their experience in pretend play.

Commonly, some children can get ‘stuck’ on certain parts of their story, repeating the same details or focusing on particular aspects of the experience, while others may have gaps in their memory and struggle to recall the event fully. These variations are common and reflect the different ways children process their experiences – just like adults.

Children’s responses should be accepted with sensitivity and respect, and any child who wants to talk should be given the opportunity to do so in a non-triggering, supportive environment. It is important they can explore their story in their own time and way in a space where they feel safe to express themselves.  For some, creating a narrative can be a powerful way to integrate their experience into the broader story of their lives.

Opportunities for communication can take different forms. One-on-one discussions can be beneficial, particularly for children who may need individualised attention and support. Discussions in a family setting or group setting with other children who have shared similar experiences can also be helpful, as these settings can foster a sense of connection and understanding. However, it is important that any group discussions in education or other service settings are structured, planned and supportive, ensuring that all children feel safe and heard, and can opt-out if it is too overwhelming. Not every child will feel ready or comfortable discussing their experience in a group, and this should be respected.

It is also important to recognise that behaviour is a form of communication. Children may express and make sense of their experiences instead through their actions, play and other behaviours. These behaviours can provide valuable insights into how a child is processing their experience. For more on how to support children in expressing and resolving their feelings through different forms of expression, see the papers on Play and creative expression and Emotional regulation. These papers offer additional strategies for helping children communicate and process their experiences in ways that are meaningful and safe for them.

Distress following a disaster

Distress is a common response to a potentially traumatic event, like a disaster. While many children may experience distress, only some may go on to develop trauma. Even if a child doesn’t experience a traumatic stress response, they may still experience distress associated with conscious memories (those they can actively recall) or unconscious memories (those that influence their feelings or behaviour without their direct awareness) of the event.

Some children are fearful or anxious about the possibility of a similar event happening again. ‘Magical thinking’, which is common among children aged around three to five years old, may cause a child to blame themselves for the event. For example, they might think, ‘If I hadn’t been angry that day, the storm wouldn’t have come’ or ‘I caused the earthquake because I stepped on the cracks in the sidewalk’. School-aged children may wish that they were superheroes who could swoop in and save the day. They might also show magical thinking and relate the disaster or its impacts to their behaviour or thinking – or fear that certain actions or thoughts can bring about another disaster. For example, they might believe, ‘If I think about the rain, another flood will happen’ or ‘If I argue with my sibling, the fire will come back’. They might also believe that avoiding certain places or activities can prevent a recurrence, like thinking: ‘If I don’t go outside, there won’t be another cyclone.’

In addition to magical thinking, children may exhibit other signs of distress, such as avoidance behaviours, where they steer clear of places, activities or even thoughts that remind them of the event. Re-experiencing behaviours, such as distressing dreams or flashbacks, can also occur. Some children might demonstrate increased general anxiety by acting out through disruptive behaviours or changes in concentration and learning. These are all ways that children communicate their feelings and attempt to make sense of what happened.

Additionally, children’s reactions may sometimes seem irrational or inappropriate to adults. For instance, a child might laugh when hearing about death or destruction, not necessarily out of disrespect, but to cope with overwhelming emotions. Such responses can be confusing or upsetting to adults, but they are often just one of many ways children try to make sense of their experiences.

Remember: children’s behaviour is a form of communication. They may express and process their experiences not just through words but through their actions, play and other behaviours. Observing these behaviours as a form of communication can provide valuable insights into how a child is coping. Read more about children’s responses and behaviour in the paper Understanding how disasters influence infants and children.

For additional strategies on helping children communicate and process their experiences in ways that are meaningful and safe for them, see the papers on Play and creative expression and Emotional regulation.

In the following video (2 minutes, 3 seconds) child psychotherapist Ruth Wraith talks about how child development influences children’s sense-making of their disaster experiences.

Some children feel isolated or defined by an experience that others don’t share. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and being misunderstood. For example, a child might think, ‘None of my friends know what it’s like to lose everything in a flood’, or ‘I shouldn’t be as sad as my friend because our house wasn’t flooded’. Such beliefs can make it difficult for them to relate to their peers and feel a sense of belonging. This can be especially pronounced in social situations where the disaster event is not discussed or acknowledged, leading the child to feel like their unique experiences and related emotions are invisible or unimportant to others. Children’s distress may be exacerbated by a sense of isolation, making it harder for them to process their experiences and move forward.

Children need opportunities to make meaning of their disaster experience with the support of caring adults. This should include a focus on understanding:

• the causes of the event – emphasising that it was not their fault
• they are safe and loved
• they are not alone: other people have experienced the same or similar events
• hard times end: the disruptions and challenges caused by the disaster will be addressed over time, and while some things may change permanently, the family will find ways to adapt and move forward
• it is not their responsibility to address these challenges: adults will take the lead in providing support and making things better, and children can also help in ways that are appropriate and meaningful to them
• they, their family and their community have learnt from the event and will be better prepared if something similar happens in the future
• it is OK to have big feelings and to talk about them.

Key practices

Narrative practices

It is a fundamental human instinct to shape experiences into stories; this is how we make sense of events, remember them and share learnings with others. Our interest in hearing and sharing stories is a powerful way to connect with each other and process our experiences. Various narrative practices can be used to help young children understand and process their experiences of disasters. These practices can be applied in practice or educational settings with children or recommended to parents. Both telling and listening to stories can be therapeutic, offering opportunities for healing and connection.

Practice examples include:

• Children and the caring adults in their lives can tell each other stories of the event. This can be done informally (e.g. in conversation) or in a more structured way (e.g. as an activity at early learning, or through narrative therapy where the family meets with a facilitator).
• Create a ‘social story’: an adult renders the event in storybook form with the child as the main character. This process can overlap with narrative therapy if the child is involved in constructing the social story. For example, the Early Connections Alliance has developed a Bushfire social story which practitioners or parents can download and adapt with children.
• Create a scrapbook with photos, drawings and notes about the disaster and the recovery process. This can help children see the progression from the event to the present and recognise the resilience and efforts made in the aftermath. Some schools or communities have published stories created by children and their families, such as the Tathra Public School’s book on bushfire.
• Encourage young children to create a ‘feelings book’ where they can draw pictures and use simple words or phrases to label their emotions, events and thoughts related to the disaster. Using stickers or stamps can make this activity engaging and help them communicate what they may not yet be able to say with words.
• Encourage older children to keep a journal where they can write about their feelings and experiences. This can be a private space for them to express their thoughts and make sense of what happened. Some children may want an adult to work on this with them or write what they say.
• Conversational reading is a narrative practice that helps children explore an experience similar to their own through a character in a fictional book (usually a published picture book). The Birdie’s Tree storybooks are great examples of this, and specifically designed to help children who have experienced a disaster.
• Use role-playing activities, where children can act out scenarios related to the disaster with dolls, puppets or action figures. This can help them explore different outcomes and express emotions in a controlled environment. Provide props so children can use pretend play to act out different roles in the event (e.g. hose, fireman outfit, spade for digging or a boat made of cardboard boxes).
• Collect stories from other children and families who experienced the same disaster. Sharing these stories in a group setting can help children realise they are not alone and learn from others’ coping strategies. New South Wales’s Mogo Public School community created a permanent yarning circle to support students who experienced a difficult time after the Black Summer bushfires.
• Stories told through other media – such as video, animation or podcast – may help a child process their own experiences. For example the Bluey episode ‘Rain’ (season 3 episode 18) explores flooding.
• Creating opportunities for children to share their experiences in other media is also valuable, such as making a podcast or apps that help collate short videos or photos into a longer story. Examples include:
  • Cobargo Public School students, who made a record of songs and published a book to help them process trauma from bushfire.
  • The Sarsfield Community Association, which supported children to share their perspectives on the 2020 bushfires through a photography project and exhibition.
  • The Yarra Range Council, which supported young people to share their experiences of a severe storm through an augmented reality (AR) project called Hard Place/Good Place.

These practices provide a structured way for children to explore and process their feelings and experiences through storytelling. Whether through shared book reading, creating social stories, or other narrative activities, stories offer a framework with a clear beginning, middle and end that helps children make sense of their experiences.

Even for infants and young children who are not yet able to read, shared storytelling offers numerous benefits. This activity provides a comforting routine and a chance to engage with stories in a way that is accessible to them. Listening to stories can help children process their emotions and experiences indirectly through the characters and scenarios presented. This can be particularly supportive for children with disabilities, as shared reading can be adapted to their individual needs, using accessible formats and interactive elements to engage them in the storytelling process.

Engaging in narrative practice allows children to discuss their thoughts and emotions in a non-threatening way. The adult’s role in guiding these discussions helps frame and contextualise the child’s feelings, offering support and reassurance.

Importantly, narrative practices also support children’s sense of agency by involving them actively in the process. For instance, creating their own stories or drawings allows children to express their perspective and contribute to their recovery process.

This collaborative approach not only facilitates emotional expression but also strengthens the bond between the child and the caring adult, creating a sense of security and connection during challenging times. By sharing and hearing stories, children can better understand their own experiences, learn from others, and feel empowered in their journey of recovery.

When implementing narrative practices with children, ensure that the stories or activities shared are age-appropriate and consider the child’s individual needs and emotional state. Be mindful of whether the content could potentially distress the child and provide support as needed. Not only do some children not want or need to talk about their own story – they may not want or need to hear about other people’s experiences.

Be prepared for the possibility that children may have varying perspectives or responses and reassure them that this is a normal part of processing their experiences. Ensure that any group activities are conducted in a safe environment where children are protected from exposure to distressing content that might be overwhelming or harmful, and have processes in place to support them if they do find the experience triggering.

Offering opportunities for narrative engagement should be a continuous process, even years after the event. This can be done in trigger-minimising ways, such as by revisiting familiar resources like storybooks or puppets, and gently suggesting, ‘Do you remember these books? I wonder if you’d like to read them again?’ For older children, connecting present experiences with past events, such as noting new growth on trees after a fire, can provide a natural way to reflect on the past without forcing the conversation.

It is also important to recognise that a child’s narrative of the event may evolve over time. Their understanding and retelling of the story might change as they grow and process their experiences in new ways. This shifting narrative is a normal part of their development and ongoing recovery process.

Facts and knowledge

Knowledge is power. Like adults, children feel more empowered when they have the facts and can be provided with the ‘right amount’ of information, at the right time and place. Too much information can be overwhelming, but not enough may lead children to worry excessively or ‘fill in the blanks’.

Children may benefit from building on their experiences of a disaster by learning more about weather, the natural world, science, hazards, how communities respond to emergencies and ‘who helps’. Practices and resources to help children make sense of their experience of disaster through facts and knowledge include:

• books and learning resources (online or from libraries)
• observations and experiments, for example science experiments like ‘cloud in a jar’, water play, everyday curious observations of the natural world
• incursions, for example having emergency personnel visit local early learning services or displaying their vehicles at a community event
• excursions, for example family or early learning/school service visits to museums, libraries, environmental learning centres or science centres
• class discussions or using online resources to explore solutions to challenges children and their communities may be facing, like the Climate Superpowers website and classroom resources
• engaging children in disaster resilience education in their learning or community settings – learn more on the Australian Institute for Disaster Resilience website
• supporting families to engage their children in developing a household emergency plan or contribute to community or school emergency planning – learn more in Disaster preparedness with a focus on infants, children and families.

Certain conversations need to occur privately between adults and away from children. It is best to ensure children are not able to overhear ‘adult conversations’. For families, this can be difficult when everyone is living in a very small space (as they might have to in emergency accommodation); text or phone calls might be a better alternative when needed to communicate with each other. Similarly, in community recovery settings where adults gather to discuss or plan recovery efforts, children are often present because parents may have limited options for alternative childcare or they may not want to be separated. In such situations, it is important to find ways to engage children in appropriate activities or offer a play area to reduce their exposure to adult conversations.

If children do overhear adult conversations, it is important to check in with them to understand how they might have interpreted what they heard. Engage in age-appropriate discussions to address any misconceptions or concerns they may have and provide reassurance. This will help alleviate children’s anxiety and ensure they feel supported and informed in a way that is appropriate for their developmental stage.

Talking about feelings

While infants and young children are developing language skills they may not yet have the words to tell adults how they feel. It is important for practitioners and parents to pay close attention to children’s non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions and gestures. For example, a child who clings to a parent might be signalling anxiety or fear. Understanding that the behaviour of infants and young children is a form of communication that often reflects their feelings and needs can help reframe behaviours that might be labelled ‘attention-seeking’ or ‘disruptive’ as ‘connection-seeking’ instead (Le Brocque et al., 2017).

Processing the feelings associated with past, present and future experiences is crucial for communication and meaning-making for children who have experienced a disaster. Practitioners can support this process by asking about, acknowledging and validating children’s feelings, while guiding parents to do the same. When parents engage their children in meaningful conversations about their emotions it can help strengthen the child’s emotional wellbeing and resilience.

It is important that conversations with children are centered on their needs and emotional state. Approaching discussions calmly and patiently, and using relaxed non-verbal communication to provide a sense of security, ensures that the focus remains on the child’s needs and creates a supportive environment for expressing and processing feelings. This may be difficult for adults to do if they are feeling overwhelmed or stressed themselves. Ideally such conversations would be delayed until parents have addressed their own emotional needs and feel prepared to support children. Ensuring that both adults and children are in an appropriate emotional state will support more effective communication and helps build emotional resilience in children.

Guidance for parents on how to use these practices is outlined in this paper’s sections on narrative practice and facts and knowledge. Additional strategies for helping children express and share their feelings are offered in the papers on Emotional regulation and Play and creative expression.

Further, supporting families to work with their GP can help them access therapy from specialist services, such as child psychologists or play therapists, which can also help with processing their experience after a disaster. Remember to practice within the scope of your professional discipline and scope of practice. Seek advice from supervisors or more experienced colleagues and relevant services when necessary to ensure the best support for children and families.

Practice scenarios

Practice scenario 1: Declan

Declan was four years old when his town was seriously affected by flooding. However, his own house was not affected and his early learning centre was closed only for a short period.

One day when his mother came to pick him up from early learning, she found Declan in tears and beside himself with distress. A concerned educator told Declan’s mother that he’d been fine until the children were reminded that there would be an excursion the next day. Declan burst into fresh tears. He stated: ‘I don’t want to go on the excursion – don’t make me go!’

It took patient discussion and unpacking to discover the story going on in Declan’s mind. During the floods, his parents had taken him to a nearby park where they usually went to play. It was extensively flooded, and when Declan asked if they could walk across the bridge his parents said, ‘No, it’s not safe’. Declan observed that the flood waters had almost reached the top of the bridge.

The park was at a place where a river ran into the sea. Declan interpreted his parents’ statement that the bridge was ‘not safe’ to mean that if they walked across the bridge, sharks and crocodiles would be able to jump out of the water and get them.

The proposed early learning excursion was to the same park, and a little girl had asked if the children would be able to walk across the bridge. Declan’s memory of seeing the floodwaters, and the danger he imagined from sharks and crocodiles, overwhelmed him with distress.

Declan’s parents took him to the park that afternoon to observe that the floodwaters had now gone down. They explained what they had meant about the bridge being unsafe before (the risk that its foundations had been undermined by the currents and debris) and pointed out that it had now been fixed. The family walked across the bridge together. They borrowed a library book and used the internet to explore with Declan the usual behaviours of sharks and crocodiles. After he was able to discuss and make sense of his memories of the flood, Declan was quite happy to go on the excursion.

Practice scenario 2: Lini

Lini was 18 months old when bushfires affected her community and many other towns in the region where she lives. Lini’s own home was not impacted, but both sets of her grandparents in neighbouring communities lost their homes. All of Lini’s grandparents moved into her home, which meant things were a bit crowded. But Lini has a close and loving extended family, and everyone adjusted to the new arrangements.

Rebuilding has taken a long time in the area. Now, two years after the bushfires, Lini’s two sets of grandparents are finally able to move into homes of their own again. Family visits will now require significant driving: 40 minutes in one case, and close to two hours in the other.

Lini, now three and a half years old, cannot remember a time without her grandparents in the house. She is feeling upset and does not want them to move out. Lini’s parents and grandparents have mixed feelings: while the family members all love one other, and the grandparents will miss being so closely involved with Lini and her siblings, there is also a sense of relief that all the adults can now move on in their own spaces.

The family is doing a lot of informal storytelling about past, present and future to help Lini and her siblings adjust. They have kept photos from pre-bushfire times and during the time they have all lived together, and these are helpful to put memories in chronological order. Lini and her siblings are becoming familiar with their grandparents’ new houses, and the family is talking about the fun times to come in their new homes. These discussions help Lini integrate the chapter of life in which her grandparents lived with her because of the bushfires into her broader life story.

Practice scenario 3: Tom

During the cyclone, Tom, an 11-year-old boy, was safe at his mother’s house on one side of town. From the window, he could see the hill where his father’s house was. He could see the wind tearing houses apart on that hill. He tried to phone his father but the phone network was down. Tom’s mother tried to reassure him, but he became very distressed, convinced his father’s house had blown away and that he was still there. Tom explained afterwards that it felt like his body had gone to sleep and that he was so cold. He remembers shivering while his mother held him. He felt overwhelmed by sadness as he thought he had lost his father and his childhood home.

When the communication network was up again, Tom’s father made contact and let them know that he had lost the house but he had left with neighbours and was OK. Tom was so relieved that his father was OK. As days and weeks passed, Tom described having that same feeling of his body going to sleep and shivering uncontrollably. He had dreams his father had passed away in the cyclone and felt increasingly anxious at being away from his parents, withdrawing from sports and school.

Tom’s father was also struggling to deal with losing his home and his experience of the cyclone. He began to write short stories about the event to help him make sense of it. He realised that he enjoyed this process and that it helped him start to recover from his experience. He shared his stories with Tom. That helped Tom understand what his father had been through during the cyclone. Tom understood that his father left before he was in danger and he shared his deep sadness about losing their home.

Tom asked if they could write a story together. They spent days writing and editing their story. It was about Tom’s fears about losing his father and the images he saw of his father’s home – both real and imagined. Tom drew drawings to go with the story. Tom’s father published his book of short stories, including Tom’s story. Tom was so proud to share the book with his class at school. He also started to see a psychologist and was able to talk about his feelings about the event, with the help of the book and seeing his father talk openly about his feelings.

More strategies

Now you have finished reading this resource you can:

• Read the other Strategies for supporting infant and child mental health after disasters resources:
  • Child–adult relationships
  • Emotional regulation
  • Play and creative expression
  • Routines and predictability
  • Support networks
• Return to Practices for supporting infant and child mental health after disasters
• Check out Supporting infants and children in disasters: A practice guide
• Visit the Community Trauma Toolkit.

References

Le Brocque, R. M., De Young, A., Montague, G., Pocock, S., March, S., Triggell, N., Rabaa, C., & Kenardy, J. A. (2017). Schools and natural disaster recovery: The unique and vital role that teachers and education professionals play in ensuring the mental health of students following natural disasters. Journal of Psychologists and Counsellors in Schools, 27(1), 1–23. DOI: 10.1017/jgc.2016.17.